


I Love This Bar

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Karaoke, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:12:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1535456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In honor of National Karaoke Week, would you welcome to the stage, John Kennex, who will be "performing" I Love This Bar, by Toby Keith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love This Bar

John Kennex was happy. John Kennex was also drunk which was most likely the reason he was happy.  Unfortunately, John was flipping through the Karaoke book and that never boded well. John thought he could sing when he was sober. He KNEW he could sing when he was drunk, he was convinced he was the next pop superstar. Everyone else agreed because they knew he carried a gun.  “Oh, this one, this is it. Wish me luck Dorian.” John didn’t give him a chance as he gave him a huge smacking, wet kiss on the cheek as he bounded up to the stage.

John told the bartender which song he wanted and took the microphone from him. He tapped the head of it and reverberation sounded through the speakers. John jumped a little in response. “Hey-a, McQuaid’s, how’re you all doin tonight?” Crickets. John didn’t let that deter him. “Guys, I loooooooove this bar, so Imma sing about it, you sing too, k?” More crickets. The twang of the guitar played through the speakers and John started to sing his little heart out, **“** ** _We got winners_** **,”** John pointed to a smoking hot badge bunny at the bar.   **“ _We got losers_ ,”** John made the letter “L” against his forehead, unfortunately it was backward and pointed to a butt ugly girl with killer legs.  **“ _And we got yuppies, we got bikers. We got thirsty hitchhikers_ ”**

Thankfully there weren’t any bikers or thirsty hitchhikers, Dorian thought, but he had a feeling it could only go downhill from here. He grabbed his and John’s coats, feeling around John’s pockets for the keys to the cruiser. He found them and shoved them into his front pocket.

**_“And the girls next door dress up like movie stars, Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm I love this bar.”_ **

That wasn’t so bad, Dorian thought, if you were tone deaf or really drunk, he supposed.

 **“ _We got cowboys,”_** John pointed at man in a baseball cap. ** _“We got truckers.”_** John pointed and winked at a couple of rough looking men. They looked at each other and back at John with murder in their eyes.

Fuck, here it comes, Dorian thought. He stood up and started making his way to the stage.

 ** _“Broken-hearted fools and suckers”_** John pointed at a happy couple nuzzling each other and made the jack-off gesture with his hand. The man was not impressed and stood up, making his way toward the stage. Dorian noticed the “truckers” were on their feet too.

 ** _“And we got hustlers,”_** John pointed to the men playing pool, who threw down their sticks with a crash.

Dorian was passing by the pool table and one of the “hustlers” swung him around and hit him square in the face.

 ** _“We got fighters._** Hey look real fighters,” John yelled, not knowing or caring that it was Dorian in the middle of the fray. “Kick his ass, man.” John yelled. **** __  
  


Dorian managed to break free and bolted up on the stage he hoisted John up over his shoulders in a modified fireman’s carry and headed for the door.

John was wailing as Dorian shoved him into the back of the cruiser.” I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS BAR.”

**Author's Note:**

> Most have us have seen the "train wreck" videos of Karl Urban trying to sing, bless his heart. I mean it just wouldn't be fair for him to be a great actor, be that hot AND be able to sing...


End file.
